Blinding Rain

Last week in a torential Kansas rain storm, I realized I was red lining on the gas gauge. Unfortunate timing, but I was carting multiple children to after school activities and had to fill the tank. The closest station didn’t have the proper amount of “roof” coverage, not that in the KS wind it would have mattered, so I had to pump anyway.

The rain was coming at me horizontal and I literally had to fight to see the credit card screen on the pump. I used my hands to try to block the incoming torrents, I squinted, turned my head, tried to duck behind the pump for shelter, but nothing helped. I finally moved to a pump on the other side to get some relief and was able to accomplish the task, but was still sopping wet.

As I sat in my now full-with-gas-car with wipers on high, the term “blinding rain” came to mind. I’ve driven in many a rain storm where it was safer to go 20 mph or pull over until you could see, but very rarely am I out in it – so exposed to the elements. Not only was I out in this blinding storm getting wet, but I was trying to do something and having grave difficulty.

Lyme disease is one giant blinding rainstorm. The rain pelts you like sleet and you feel like you cannot see to move forward. The disease blinds and numbs your congnizance, your clarity of mind, your emotional stability and you find yourself flying “blind” with no instruments to gauge where you are.

Never have I felt more exposed, more out in the open, more raw to the elements as I did in the pit of lyme disease. This is one of the reasons lyme disease recovery and healing is so difficult. It captivates and controls all the areas of your being – body, mind and soul and ravages them all, not playing favorites. Never have I been so misunderstood, felt so alone and helpless as I did during my years in the lyme pit.

You are not alone. You can will and heal.

The disciples were just like us – cowarded in fear in the face of tremendous storm on the lake. The awoke Jesus afraid for their lives and what was his response?

He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. (Matthew 8:25)

Lean on Him and cast aside your fear. Close your eyes in the blinding storm and let Him guide you. This song from Mercy Me seemed so appropriate for today…..