Calling 911…..

They won’t know what to do with me……That’s the thought I wrestled with each night that the pain got so unbearable Iwas sure that I wouldn’t see the morning. I wrestled with waking up my husband and going to the ER or calling 911. I have chronic Lyme disease and in the deepest part of the valley, my symptoms would skyrocket at night into an inevitable spiral into panic, into fear, into dying? These were the things that rang in my ears – in my brain all through the night.

This holiday season has me beyond grateful because I am out of the valley of the shadow of death, for now and doing great. But I know Lymies who are not there yet. I get text from a friend in Texas from the ER. I get late night texts from a friend whose heart pain at night is out of control. The past two holiday seasons, I was fighting panic. The bad weather, the holidays and doctors closed – what would we do if I needed the hospital? But if we went, would they really know what to do with me, would they be able to save my life?

I mean, its not a broken arm, or dehydration, or a ruptured gall bladder – its Lyme disease. Wicked and varied in its attack on each individual person. Would the ER people believe me, would they have the skill to fight this evil beast and keep me afloat? This cloaked attacker that most doctors and hospitals don’t even really acknowledge or have the training to understand. Should I put Lyme disease into their hands or pray to see the next morning and endure this pain?

I know I’m not the only one who had these thoughts – who has these thoughts.

I don’t know what you are wrestling, but I know this – God knows the number of our days. He knows when the snow storms will block the roads and He knows when each and every one of us will enter and exit the valley of the shadow of death – in Lyme or otherwise.

It is the only truth you can possibly anchor to in this storm. All other truths will falter and break in a storm this big – this sustained.

Don’t look at the wind and the waves – just focus on Jesus. Peter, after trying to walk on water, succeeded until he “saw the waves”. This Lyme storm is terrible and the wind and the waves of it can terrify and raise a panic party we live in 24/7. Don’t focus on the storm – just focus on Jesus.

I pray for all of you that 2014 is your step out of the valley of the shadow of death and into the light of truth and the anchor that is in Jesus Christ and into healing.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Blessings,

Janice Fairbairn

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