When calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you. (Proverbs 1:27) 
Being from the midwest and living in tornado alley for the better part of my adult life, I can account for the feeling of a literal storm overtaking me. The darkness of the clouds seems to swallow you up and the light changes to an eerie brown color if its a particularly menacing storm that could have a tornado lurking nearby. Its a sinking feeling that takes your breath away.
This week, I have a friend struggling in chronic illness and the calamity is overtaking her like a storm. It is taking her breath away and casting a dark shadow against hope. A calamity per dictionary.com, is a great misfortune or disaster, especially one causing extreme havoc; a grievous affliction. That is where she is, sandwiched between calamity and extreme havoc in a grievous affliction and desperately trying to see even the faintest shadow of hope.
There are so many there in that empty chasm of darkness, that valley of the shadow of death. I remember. I remember so much I wish I could forget. There is nothing more terrible than not being able to find your hope. As I pray for her this week, I want to share with you all the words I have for her because there are too many of us in that place needing more hope.
Chronic illness is difficult enough on its own. It tears through families, destroying relationships, marriages, friendships, finances and careers. But Lyme? It is a chronic illness heaped to the top with brain fog, exhaustion, confusion, psychosis and severe depression. I described it many times as a “panic cloud that had engulfed me and I could not catch my breath” and as a “300 lb gorilla sitting on my panic button”.
In the early months or years of fighting this Lyme battle, holding on to hope is arduous. Its a blinding rainstorm. Its holding onto a tree in a hurricane, hard, hard, HARD.
But let me tell you, if there is anything you need to focus on to beat this thing it is HOPE. You must hold onto to hope with all you have. Hold onto hope with the last working brain cell you have. Hope is the exit door out of chronic illness, so that when your physical body gets what it needs, hope will do the rest. But without hope, the emotional and physical selves will get bounced around by this thing and toppled over.
Once the fog begins to clear, it gets easier to hold onto and focus on hope, but until then take it with a white knuckle grip and don’t let go. Don’t focus on what’s wrong, or how bad you feel, or what you can’t do. Focus on what you can do, thankful for the baby steps of progress your treatment is making. Focus on others you can pray for and love through your trial. All of those things give strength to the grip you have on hope.
If five minutes at a time is all you can look forward and hold on tight, then 5 minutes it is. Hope is timeless, it doesn’t need a guarantee or a deposit or have a signed contract. Hope is free and plentiful for the taking, but needs to be held and treasured like a child crossing the street. Hold on gently or tightly, whatever the day or event calls for in your valley, but hold on. Don’t put hope on layaway thinking you’ll pick it up only when the storm engulfs you. It will be there but harder to see. Grab hope now.
Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinth 4:16-18)
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19)
Blessings and much healing to you all,
Janice Fairbairn
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