8 Ways to Take Advantage of a Mulligan in Chronic Illness

I’m not an avid golfer, in fact if given the chance I would drive the cart instead of play. But I understand the concept of a Mulligan.

Second chances, that is what a Mulligan is all about. I’ve been handed quite a few Mulligans, some near misses and others just a flat out redo.

A bomb in Camden Market in London, the bombing of Olympic park in Atlanta, a divorce, addiction, and the twin towers on 9/11. All near misses and a chance at a mulligan.

But my biggest Mulligan came through my battle with chronic Lyme disease. Being near death in Lyme is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but I wouldn’t change it now. It changed me. It uprooted everything in me, because I let it. I decided to go all in with this Mulligan and take complete advantage of it.

1. I went all in. I don’t gamble anymore, but going all it is a poker term. I decided I had nothing to lose and did it. What does that look like in chronic illness? It’s accepting where you are, when you are and how you are. No guilt for not doing. No heartbreak for letting friendships slide. No guilt for school projects being mediocre but complete. Not guilt for laundry not folded. All in looks like a day well spent doing things that matter, spending time with people who matter. Doing what you can when you can, that’s all in. Do something you would never have had the courage to do before. Find the fight in you, the passion that drives you and do it. Switch jobs, move, tell someone you love them. Go all in.

2. Let it go. For all you Frozen fans out there – sing the song in your head – Let it Go. Some things aren’t worth holding on to. Especially those friendships who are judging you, ignoring you, or leaving because it got tough. Riding it out with someone in chronic Lyme is hard. Alot of people can’t hack the reality of Lyme and think you are faking it. Or they don’t realize how bad it really is. Let go of obligations that aren’t eternal. Let go of the job if it is too stressful. Let go of the house if it is toxic with mold. Be willing to strip life down to the essentials.

3. Forgive and forget. Have you been harboring hurt or pain from past issues in life or relationships? Bitter roots grow and damage us emotionally and physically. In order to heal and move forward in life, forgiveness is paramount. There was a point during my battle with Lyme, when I asked God what I needed to do in order to get well and he told me to forgive. I had no idea I had unresolved issues, but He began bringing people to mind and I started forgiving. Your physical body needs the spiritual and emotional strength you have to fully heal, so get it optimized by clearing house with forgiveness. Its time to move on.

4. Stop faking it. Be real to those around you during and after. Tell the truth when it hurts. Tell the truth about why you can’t come to dinner because of your diet restrictions. Be who you are in this thing. If people can’t take it, good riddance. Only the good relationships survive. The burden of trying to fake it is too heavy. Put it down so you can focus on you and healing. Don’t mow the lawn just to compete with the neighbors. Quit trying to look like you aren’t sick. Be real.

5. Start saying “yes”. Look for the shining stars around you that need to be noticed. Some amazing friendships and opportunities came along during by battle with chronic lyme. God compelled me to start writing before I could even use my eyes again. He compelled me to start a bible study before I could drive, which is now filled with an amazing group of women, most who I didn’t even know before I got sick. My closest friends came through my sickness and their compassion. Our hearts became cemeted because I accepted help.

6. Embrace life and be grateful. This one is almost a no-brainer. If it is one thing in almost everyone I have met fighting chronic illness, they are grateful for life. Grateful when they regain health. Don’t take for granted your physical self, your family, your time, your every breath. It is a gift. A gift to be used and lived and loved. Be bold, be courageous and embrace life.

7. Prioritize. As a friend of mine once put it, triage your life. Treat your life like an ER triage nurse would. The critically injured gets top billing. Who needs you the most? Is it the job, the family, your friends, your aging parents? Write down on a list all the things you think you need to do and have a good friend edit it for you and set priorities. Some things don’t matter at all and what floats to the top may surprise you.

8. Be selfish. Odd one I know, but hear me out. What do you need? Has it been too long since anyone asked you or that you even thought about it? Feed your soul. Take time for a bible study, a lunch with a friend, a good movie, a good book, a walk through a museum or park, and a game of golf even. If you are a woman you are terrible at this, and if you are a mom you probably suck at it. I can say it because I was. I had lost me. I wasn’t feeding my soul.

This by song by King and Countrysums up how I feel about a Mulligan and how I am moving forward in life.

“Fix My Eyes”