We have all heard of the 80/20 rule in the workplace where 20% of the staff does 80% of the work. I have some not so fond memories of the 80/20 rule in action in school projects where I always ended up in the 20% doing 80% of the work. Twenty percent of the population give 80% of the charitable giving in the country. The 80/20 Rule is alive and kicking all around us, so what does it have to do with parenting a Lyme?
I coined this phrase in regard to my kids long before I knew they had Lyme, but I knew something was off. There were “eggshells” on the floor all the time and things that should have caused happiness caused fits one day and not the next. So in my mind, I try to react to all naughtiness by looking at it as if all their bad behavior is only 20% sin and 80% something else.
Yes, I know all kids have the capacity to be spoiled, banshee, miscreants rotten to the core because we are all born with the same innate ability to sin. But, I have found this rule to be true for all kids I know in chronic illness, that 80% of the time it is something else. Yes, my kids can be banshees, they can be naughty, but I have to investigate first to find the something else.
What do I mean by something else?
Well, when the kids are especially bickery or naughty, I think the following questions instinctively in my head:
- Did I feed them something new recently?
- Did we start a new medication/supplement recently?
- Is something new happening at school or home – I.E. any kind of social or geographical change?
- Are there any geopathic disturbances about like full moon, meteor shower, eclipse, etc?
- Is the barometer shifting today?
These are just my top five, your household might have a few differences, but this catches most of it in a big net. If there is a “yes” to one or more of these questions, then the bad behavior might be more related to how they feel then just acting out. Remember that kids can’t discern a feeling bad kind of day. They can’t describe symptoms and “take it easy”. They just barrel down and try to keep up with the world around them despite how they feel, so the “naughty” coming out of them in actions or words is more about feeling bad inside.
I have spent way too much time and energy on disciplining and correcting behavior on these kind of days until my head could pop off my shoulders and spin around. Then I say, “duh” – the 80/20 Rule and sure enough, I will figure out something that it really was. Oh, the guilt for spinning my wheels in the wrong place way too many times.
Now, hear me out, that I’m not saying don’t discipline your kids when they are naughty, but take a proper examination first. Lyme kids are highly susceptible to weather pattern changes, changes of season, time change, travel, etc. Just one little small thing like Daylight Savings Time can throw them into a tailspin.
Take a look at how the Blood Moon tonight will affect your family as a perfect example.
Save yourself the time and energy as a parent trying to navigate this life for your family and get your kids well – use the 80/20 rule.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov 22:6)
Blessings and Healing,
Janice Fairbairn
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