I suck at ice skating

Really, I do suck at ice skating. I am barely able to keep upright on the two feet and legs I was given. Being graceful is not in my DNA for sure, so if you put wheels or slippery surfaces beneath me I am screwed. Earlier this year at a roller skating event I fell and bruised my tailbone so bad I was sore for over a week!

The tricky thing about having kids is that I have to smile and be brave and pretend I know what I’m doing so they give it a go. Then I find myself in the spotting position. Really? Me, who is going to end up falling should not be holding onto children that are learning and bound to end up down. I really just need to learn my lesson and duct tape a butt cushion to my pants to prepare for the inevitable.

So, there I find myself at an ice skating party. My husband “conveniently” had to work and I am left to spot not one, but two kids who have never ice skated. Guess how many times I have ice skated? Yep, this is the third. So I am a complete rookie, even worse than on roller skates, much worse. The place is packed on a Saturday and here we are. Ugh double ugh.

Its confirmed. I suck at ice skating. But, hey, we made it around twice hugging the wall. Two whole rounds of crowded leg shaking off balance ice skating. We survived and the kids loved it and I smiled the whole time. Smile and the kids will never know I am terrified and uncomfortable and about to fall.

As we were skating around or shuffling is more like it – I watched the other people who could actually skate gracefully and happily by.

Wow, that’s how I felt in the worst part of the Lyme battle. I felt like I was clinging to the edge barely holding on, celebrating each few feet of shuffling and scooting around while the rest of the world flew by carelessly and carefree.

It can definitely feel that way, but I learned not to compare my “ice skating” adventure with everyone else’s. Just because we were going slow doesn’t mean that it wasn’t making quality memories and that we weren’t able to have fun. Slow and steady is good.

One foot in front of the other. Shuffle shuffle, scoot scoot, rest. I made it around twice. Awesome and never again.

I began to celebrate the little things even if no one else would join me or understand. Yes, your neighbor is running a marathon and your friends are taking a hiking adventure to the Grand Canyon and your sister is getting her doctorate degree. So what. You climbed the stairs today. You did a load of laundry. You got out of bed. You combed your hair. You drove a car.

Fantastic. Awesome. Celebrate. Shuffle, shuffle, scoot scoot.

Baby steps work, they are still onward, they are still upward. They are good.

In this season of Christmas, it seems the world is moving around much faster than you are. They are. Just let them. You are right where you are supposed to be. But don’t be alone, don’t compare and let other’s speed of life and accomplishments take away from your celebrations.

I still don’t want to move that fast. Yes, as I’ve been feeling better I want to do more, accomplish more, get out and do. But sometimes, I still crave the quiet slowness of creeping along the edge of the wall shuffling and soaking up each sweet moment in its fullness. I want to stop the sands of time to drench myself with the joy of being with my family and feeling better and being able to accomplish, even if I choose not to conquer the world or do any more ice skating this Christmas.

Soak it up, shuffle along and celebrate.

There is hope. There is tomorrow.

“The hope and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight” (O Little Town of Bethlehem)

I had a lot of fears. Fear of getting well, fear of not getting well. I still have a lot of fears. I battle the fear of regression, the fear of what I can accomplish and when, the fear of ice skating. They are all real.

But, instead of fear, I choose hope. The song says hope is right there beside fear. It always is and always will be this side of heaven. They will both be staring at you like a shelf at Target. Which one is packaged better which one is cheaper? Well, fear is definitely a best seller. It is everywhere, the news, advertising, and deep in the fabric of our hearts. Fear will try to grab you each day.

But hope? Hope is the one that is free. Absolutely free. I choose hope.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

Full of hope. Empty of fear. Screw ice skating. Screw going fast.

Soak it up and feel the hope drench you with goodness and celebration.

Merry Christmas,

Janice Fairbairn – The Lyme Evangelist

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