I like my kids. I like hanging out with my kids. I like the wildly funny with no point stories they tell. I like things they like. I miss them when they are gone. I admit that I dread school starting because it is toooo quiet in the house.
But then I hear other moms talk about their summer and how they can’t wait for school to start and I begin to think, is liking your kids becoming unpopular?
Am I going to be looked at as “that mom” who is clinging to my kids for identity? I am not. I can assure you I don’t have an identity problem aside from being a mom, I have many other interests and depth of personality. So then, how do you explain it?
Why do I feel so in the minority that I like my kids and want them around?
I admit it – only in brief moments, especially when they bicker or get really disobedient, do I need space. I admit that this summer has been more difficult than most and they have needed the change of routine again and have missed their friends. But I selfishly want more time and more weeks. Summer ended without warning and school started before I was ready again. Why does it end so quickly?
They are growing up too fast and they school years go by like light speed these days. How did they get so big?
And if they are getting that big, then I must be getting that old (but that is a subject for another day).
Do you like your kids? I mean, truly like spending time with them and having them around. Not just in the “score the winning goal in soccer” moments, but in the doing homework and cooking dinner and walks to the park moments.
News flash: they are probably pretty terrific and wonderful and awe inspiring if you gave them half a chance.
Second news flash: they become more wonderful and blossom to their full selves when we give them the time and attention they need.
No, I am not one of those commune people who have 14 kids, live off the land and homeschool. Not that there is anything wrong with that…….and believe me, maybe there is a part of me that would want 12 more if they could be half as wonderful as the two I have.
I’m not crazy and kookie and nuts. I am not. Well, maybe I am just a little bit.
I think I have to be crazy just a little bit for them to like me at all, because I must be pretty boring to them. I am not the funniest or the most adventuresome or the most creative or the Suzy homemaker out there. But I love them and I like them and they know that.
There is a song by Dianne Reeves the jazz singer called “I’m and Endangered Species”. The lyrics say:
I am an endangered species
But I sing no victim’s song
I am a woman I am an artist
And I know where my voice belongs
I know where my voice belongs as a mother and as their advocate. If you’ve been reading my blog for long, you know how much I believe in being the advocate for their health. I am also, as their mother, the advocate for their hearts and their character. There is no other way to be a part of their sphere of influence than to physically be in their sphere of influence.
What kind of message are you sending your kids? Do they know you like them? Do they know you like spending time with them? Do they know you would do anything for them?
If liking my kids puts me on the Endangered Species list, so be it.
I’m not afraid.
Blessings and healing,
Janice Fairbairn – The Lyme Evangelist
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