An Innocent Fly

The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me. (Psalm 18:4-5)

Anyone who has spent any amount of time at all in the Valley of the Shadow of Lyme disease, knows exactly what the Cords of Death feel like.

Sometimes its like a fly landing innocently in a spider’s web. You were just out shopping at Target, or driving your kids to soccer, or sitting in a business meeting and WHAM – you get hit and land in the web. No matter how much you try to get out of where you are in Lyme, fighting it and trying to get free feels like you become more entangled. It feels like you are stuck permanently and destined to die.

But you weren’t out looking for trouble, were’nt living a bad or unhealthy life. You were just flying along just an innocently as the fly and didn’t see the reflection of the web of Lyme in your flight path at all.

The Message translates those verses like this:

“The hangman’s noose was tight at my throat;
devil waters rushed over me.
Hell’s ropes cinched me tight;
death traps barred every exit.”

That encapsulates the “cords of death” phenomenon that can grip your physical body and tear out your soul during a battle with Lyme disease. Waves of devil waters rushing over you until you can’t catch your breath.

The writer of the Psalm also notates that this type of destruction is overwhelming. It is a tsunami of overwhelm-ness to battle Lyme disease which is why you cannot go it alone. Not only do you have to have support in friends and family, but you faith must be iron clad. It is in a physical battle of this nature that your true character is assaulted and laid bare. What do you anchor to? What truth do you believe in? Can and will God rescue you from this pain, this fear of dying, this agony, this financial desperation?

In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.  (Psalm 18:6-7)

Late at night in my distress and agony, I called to God, I cried to God. I begged for wisdom, for healing, for guidance, for deliverance – and I didn’t let go. I didn’t stop asking. I didn’t give up hope. He is there. He will answer.

My pain didn’t immediately disappear, but to my complete surprise each morning, I woke up and had another day. Another day to hug and kiss my kids. Another day to pray for loved ones. Another day to see God’s beautiful creation. Another day to fight the good fight.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy…
the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me. (Psalm 18:16-19)

There was a time I wasn’t able to even read well during the illness and so I couldn’t go to the scriptures for comfort. I listened to praise music and hymns all day. I had to input something good, something positive to help wrestle free of the sticky web of Lyme and the hold it had on my brain, my thinking, my emotions, my whole body. Otherwise the “cords of death” would entangle and I would be stuck without hope.

The Message translates the rescue like this:

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

Reach out to Him now and let God pull you from the ocean of hate- the Lyme chaos and fill you with hope that will sustain you. It might not release the pain, the agony, the stress, but the cords of death will not entangle you when wrapped in God’s hope and love. Fear will not overtake you and the devil’s waters will have no power to take your breath away.

“I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occastionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lostthat God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly.” – MadeleineL’Engle, Two-Part Intervention

Blessing,

Janice

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