There is a place of emptiness that chronic Lyme can suck you into. I remember that place. That dark lonely scary terrible place where the cloud of panic engulfs and takes your breath away. The place you feel you’ve been locked inside and the key has been thrown away. That place of terror and pain and anguish. Survive it you can. One breath, one moment at a time.
There are just some days I don’t have words. The longer I’m in the chronic Lyme community the more pain and anguish I encounter, I’m not sure what to say. I have three friends really struggling right now and my heart is heavy in prayer for them to be released to the next stage of healing – out of the 7th realm of this hell of Dante’s inferno. And then I heard this song on the radio this morning. It reminded me of this…
Healing is not just physical. Satan does not want you to heal emotionally. Satan does not want you to be a fully functional mom again. Satan wants to have this illness as a weapon to tear your marriage and your family apart. The enemy of your soul does not want this to be used to strengthen your faith or your testimony.
This battle is spiritual. This battle is about healing emotions that have been locked up tight. Accept that. Call on the name of Jesus and see how many symptoms he can stop even for five minutes. Bring the terror into the light of Jesus and let him conquer it. Treat the whole disease as if it is all spiritual and see what’s left. Hit it with everything you have – praise music, holy essential oils, the spoken word of God and prayer.
He will win. He will conquer. He is stronger. Use Mark 11:23 and say out loud to that MOUNTAIN in your way to healing “go to the sea!”. Cast it out over and over and over again and believe that it is done.
My favorite line in this song Just Be Held by Casting Crowns is “not a tear is wasted”. This reminds me of my favorite scriptures from Psalm 56:8 about our tears.
You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book. (Psalm 56:8 The Message)
In the New King James it says “You number my wanderings, put my tears into your bottle”.
Each and every tear. Each and every sleepless night. Each toss and turn God is aware of. He keeps track of them. Imagine the accounting nightmare that is in heaven for all us stricken with chronic Lyme?! God has it. God stores your tears in a bottle in heaven. He knows each one.
Just Be Held (Casting Crowns)
Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on
And when youre tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go
So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will
And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands
Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go
Blessings and healing,
Janice Fairbairn – Lyme Evangelist
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