Why This Road?

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I’m not the only one who has uttered these words. Why me? Why this disease? Why now? Why this road?

The more you suffer, the more you “see” people not suffering, well initially.

Unfortunately, this question, these questions will not get answered this side of heaven. We don’t get to know how it started, how we could have prevented it, how long we will have it. We don’t get to know why me or why this suffering, why this road. We just get to walk it.

It doesn’t keep us from asking, from wondering, from pleading. It seems so unfair, it is so hard, that we somehow surmise that if we just knew, then it would all make sense and the suffering would be bearable.

But would it? Could anything make the suffering of chronic Lyme for yourself or a loved one easier, or more bearable?

But if I knew something good will come of it, it will make it worthwhile. If I just knew. Really? Don’t you have enough going on without trying to know this too?

God promises in his word that “all things will work to the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28) He also says that “we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, that he prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph 2:10)

Regardless of knowing the exact cause or knowing the tomorrow’s of our lives, we know this. He will work everything to our good and his glory. He will. He prepared a work for us before the beginning of time. Is it this work? I have no idea. This could be a character hiccup in the road of life that refines us for the better, or this could be the beginning of our life work, who knows. But it will work out for our good and his glory.

Don’t let your mind be consumed by the Why and the What and the How Long? One minute, one hour, one day at a time is your focus. One foot in front of the other toward healing. Use all your brain, all your mind and all your heart to focus on the goal. Don’t let this periphery information distract you from the goal. Get through this, get back to living better and let God show you the goodness.

I believe that he delights in showing us later, how beautiful a tapestry he has been weaving, so we can go “ooooohhhh” and be a testimony of his faithfulness. If he told us the beauty part while we were still in the suffering part, would we appreciate it, would we notice it, would we even hear it?

I was listening to Ginny Owens in the background while I cooked the other day and this beautiful song came on that got me musing her words. She so eloquently puts it and echoes the desires of our hearts while we struggle and suffer. How does she know, has she had Lyme? No. She is blind and a musician and she used to have sight. She gets the “my life has been ripped out from under me” thing that you feel. She has let God lead her down this permanent change and redirection and allowed him to make beauty of it.

This Road – Ginny Owens

A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering

In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you havent left me here to wander
Still I can’t help but ponder where you’re leading me

And I ask, why this road?
Why this way and this load?
Tell me how far must I go?
‘Til I see, ’til I know why this road

From here I can not see
Why you’d choose this path for me
But I don’t have to understand to believe
That you know why

You know, why this road?
Why this way and this load?
You know how far I must go?
‘Til I see, ’til I know why this road

If you begin to take the time to not look for the lack of suffering and feel sorry for yourself, but begin to look for the fellow sufferers who need encouragement, support and prayer – your whole need to answer these questions begins to vanish little by little. Then you begin to see what God wants you to see – that he just wants to use you whatever road you are on.

Blessings and healing,

Janice Fairbairn – The Lyme Evangelist

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