Won’t Back Down

Are you tired and weary of your fight for health? Are you still beating the same drum just to turn up some answers about why you are so sick?

Just in case you thought you were all alone, I thought this story might help. You see thousands of years ago, there was a woman. She was afflicted by a terrible illness that caused her to bleed all the time. In her culture that made her unclean. Being unclean meant she was chastised, segregated and left to suffer alone. She had in fact had this affliction and suffering for 12 years.

Does any of this sound familiar? How many years have you been suffering? How many years have you been searching for answers and healing? How alone in the fight do you feel?

I knew and have known this story for many years. In fact, it is a story that brought me great comfort in my struggle because of how the story ends. What I didn’t realize until this morning when I was reading it again, is the middle part that I had glazed over and forgotten.

“She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.” (Mark 5:26)

Things haven’t changed much have they? A mysterious illness and what did the lot of doctors do? They contributed to her feeling worse. They could not solve it.

She was relentless, as you all are on your quest for healing and acceptance and normalcy. She didn’t give up. She had spent all she had. Haven’t you too?

She wanted to fit in. She wanted to be accepted by her neighbors, family and friends. She wanted to marry. She wanted to have children. She wanted the ostracizing to end. She just wanted her life back.

She just wanted to live again.

Don’t you sometime wish for a “normal, socially acceptable illness”? Don’t you yearn for the yesterday when you were carefree and had health? Don’t you want to turn back the clock so you could live to the fullest in the healthy body you once had?

What did our relentless pursuer do? She was still not going to give up. After all the doctors failed her she still was searching. She heard of a healer. She was so exhausted and unaccepted by society, though, that she didn’t even have the nerve to speak and ask for healing. She was so desperate for it that she thought she could sneak close enough to just touch his robe and she would be healed.

Guess what relentless pursuit does. It pays off people.

I watched a very inspiring movie this weekend. Won’t Back Down is a movie about a mom and a teacher in the inner city of Pittsburg, PA who want a better education for their kids and dig in to do something about it. One of my favorite lines in the movie is when the mother played by the actress Maggie Gyllenhaal, says to the old tired principal of the failing school:

“Have you heard of the mothers who pull one ton trucks off their babies? They are nothing compared to me.” 

Relentless. I know patients like that. I know warrior mothers like that. They have spent decades fighting the system, insurance, their own budget, and every doctor they encounter – just to find healing and answers.

Just like the lady in our first story, they have spent all they had – emotionally, physically and financially. Their marriages are in shambles, their jobs long gone. They are on a quest though. A quest for the truth and to grasp life again.

What does perseverance gain?

Not only did she receive immediate healing, she also received acknowledgement for her battle, her pursuit, her faith and belief that healing was possible.

“Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.” (Mark 5:28)

The healing was so strong and so severe that Jesus felt it. The healer knew someone had just be transformed. He stopped and asked and looked for her. Then he waited for her to step forward.

He waited for her to step into her healing and step in front of the crowd she had been avoiding for 12 years. She came forward to tell him the whole truth of her quest.

His response? “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:34)

What suffering? She had already felt the transformation of healing. She was already free. What did she need to still be free of? What suffering remained that Jesus released her from?

Her identity had been tainted by the illness and living as an outcast. Her courage, though persistent, was dim. Her person had been ostracized so long, she wondered who she was. She had become something else.

Are you still suffering? Are you still searching?

Jesus is the one true healer. Jesus can heal physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I can’t explain why sometimes one suffers longer than another. I only know what is possible if we believe.

My spiritual healing cut almost as deep as the physical healing. I even now, four years later, am still healing emotionally and spiritually.

I know you are all warriors. I know you have been relentless. Don’t give up. Don’t lose sight of the prize of healing. Don’t cut yourself off from complete healing from the inside out. Don’t lose faith.

One day at a time and keep the faith.

To all my warrior friends…..and to those I’ve yet to meet, keep up the good fight. Step into healing and never give up.

Blessings and healing,

Janice Fairbairn – The Lyme Evangelist

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