Happy – Finding-Your-New-Normal – New Year!

I’m not sure where you are in your healing process, but at each step of the journey to healing we are all faced with the question of what my “new normal” will be. What will it look like? Can I do anything I used to do? Will I be NORMAL again?

I have friends battling cancer/chemo for their son, a friend battling the loss of her father to cancer, three friends battling Lyme for themselves, their kids and now mold in their houses, a friend battling in court for her kids from an abusive husband/father, an uncle recovering from a brain trauma, a friend suffering the loss of his wife, a Lyme friend suffering seizures, and many more Lyme friends still on the battlefield desiring life again. What does normal look like for each of these people in 2016? What does the year have in store?

I can tell you with honest vulnerability that I still have these “normal” urges and can yearn for things I cannot have in regard to our new normal. I can still get caught up in the “its not fair” of this life and this struggle and want the simplicity of what I see in other’s lives around me. The reality is that none of it is fair and no one has a simple normal life. No one. Its a trap.

When you are struggling to find your new normal you must first begin by clearing the slate. Don’t use your neighbors as benchmarks. Don’t use someone else’s life to determine the course you desire in your own. Your trajectory and your today and tomorrow are entirely up to you. Don’t use your “before” life either. Looking back is not the same as looking forward. This doesn’t mean you can’t set goals like I want to be able to ski again, or I want to be able to do a half marathon again, or even I want to be able to drive again or do my own laundry again. These are worthy goals and setting goals is very much a part of the new normal.

But you cannot with absolute certainty, have the same exact life you once had. Loss is loss. Change is change. This disease has changed you physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Let that change form into the new path. Give it a bit of time to take shape. Talk to God about the desires of your heart and what goals you can and should set. What is achievable and what will be a stretch but worth putting up on the board to go for this year?

Let go of the “once was” and fully embrace the “now” version of who you are. It is different so let something good come from it. Mourn over the “once was” and what you won’t be again, but only for a bit and then release it.

Believe me when I say that the “new normal” is a fluid concept around our house. Some days I set lofty goals and some days we miss the mark and then my risk quotient drops a bit. We have tried and failed but we are living. Isn’t that the most important thing in the end? Live it. Whatever your new normal is, whether cautious or risky, live it. Try and fail and live it.

Don’t live in the past. Don’t be afraid of the future. Live with the knowledge that none of us are promised tomorrow. None of us are promised an easy today. We all live life in anticipation of greatness, and delight in wonderful surprises of hope. Live it.

You’ve been on the edge of life, you’ve just suffered loss, you’ve just been knocked down over and over. Today is a new day. This year is a new year. Make goals. Reach acceptance. Move forward. Live it.